"And when at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter— they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped dark inside you so long."
— Sylvia Plath


Got this from my friend (she doesn't really know I took this. Hi now you do, if you're reading this)

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Read it a minute after I thought, 'actually I kind of enjoy locking myself up this year it's not that painful, really'. I don't think I want to pour my soul out after the exams. It must be rather filthy, full of self-centered crap. Gross.

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And what is 'confidence'. Is it to have the confidence that you'll achieve that dream of yours? or is it the confidence that no matter what happens, you are who you are, you are special in your own way, and that not succeeding in one area doesn't mean you're a failure in life?

Maybe it's not confidence I have, I've just come to place of acceptance.

But sometimes I think acceptance is a form of escapism. It's like saying 'it's ok you're like that, don't be too harsh on yourself'. Then you stop trying too hard. I don't think nothing's ever impossible for anyone as long as they keep trying. But what's the point of trying so hard at something you're not naturally good at? (Or am I already tending towards escapism and laziness and what not?)

That thought kind of made me lose my drive. Which is why I'm suspecting it might be escapism under the facade of 'acceptance'.
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